Back In The Day Show

Man, things have been busy! But we finally made it into the studio to bring you a new show. This time, we talk about what’s new in the retro scene, like the upcoming album from Doctor Octoroc, plus the comeback of Nintendo’s Punch-Out and A Boy and His Blob. We round out the news by covering some of the new movies coming out that have origins in the 80s: Terminator: Salvation, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen, and G. I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Sorry for the excessive use of colons. Next up, we feed our dark comedy appetites with a helping of Robocop. Violence, drugs, killer robots, and loud zippers–it’s got it all! And finally, we reveal our gluttony for punishment by concluding the show with a discussion of some of the hardest NES games known to man. Be sure to check out part 1 and part 2 of the 10 Stupid-Hard NES Games series. Part 3 is on the way. “I’d buy that for a dollar.”

Download the mp3 (1:17:40 / 35.5MB)

External links mentioned in this show:
Preview Doctor Octoroc’s latest project
Punch-Out is back
So is A Boy and His Blob
The Onion Star Trek Report
G. I. Joe Resolute
Ghosts ‘N Goblins beaten

Looks like I forgot to put out the message about the poll question, so we’re leaving the current question up for a little while longer. Anyway, here’s your last chance to cast your vote on this one, people: Who’s your favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles character? To cast your vote, hit the link below or view the poll on the sidebar on the right side of the page.

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Today we continue with Part 2 of the 10 Stupid-Hard NES Games series in which I look back on some of the hardest NES games I’ve ever played. Then, and for no other reason than I just like abuse, I play them again and see how I fare against them today. Here are the next 4:

Ninja Gaiden

< Back in the Day: Ninja Gaiden, literally translated as “Ninja Story”, is an OK title, but I think Diabolical Ninja Story from Hell would probably be more accurate. It was actually one of the coolest NES games I’d ever played, even despite it’s difficulty. It was well designed, had really good music, featured some cool weapons and even cutscenes, but most importantly, it had ninjas. What more could a kid ask for? How about making it past level 3? Fortunately, Ninja Gaiden was a lot of fun, because it was hard as hell. I don’t remember the bosses being all that bad, but the stages (or Acts) that you had to traverse to get to them were, in a word, evil. You had to wonder what fiendish pleasure the designers drew from victims’ players’ constant failures. Infinite continues kept the game from becoming as crazy as Ghosts ‘N Goblins–that and the fact that you could take more than two hits. But there were parts of Ninja Gaiden that seemed almost completely unfair at times. Many of the enemies exhibited erratic behavior, and sometimes when you got hit, you kept getting hit by other enemies only to then fall off a ledge. Oh, and remember that boxer dude? You first encountered him in Act I. He’d trot up to you until he got close enough, then launch a nasty punch. He was easy enough to take out for the most part, but if he landed a punch, he kept punching you just as you started to recover. Another example is that enemies often regenerated right after you beat them if you had backtracked or advanced the screen by only a few pixels. I don’t think I ever made it all the way through Act III, but it was ultimately a fun game with high production value, which is probably what lead me to try Ninja Gaiden 2–another stupid-hard, but fun game.

> Today: I loaded up this game just a few days ago, fully expecting another beat down. So I was astonished when I made it all the way to Act VI, the final stage of the game. Oh sure, I did receive a healthy beat down, but I made it further than I ever had. Act I was a joke with a pushover boss. Come to think of it, once you learn their patterns, all the bosses are fairly easy. So when you finally make it to a boss’ lair, you feel a bit relieved, having fought through the more difficult part of the level, assuming you don’t screw it up at the last minute. The only one I haven’t confronted is the final boss. Anyway, I made it through Act II without much effort, but Act III gave me a few problems. With persistence, however, I was eventually able to pass. Act IV tried my patience. At this point, I wanted to strangle the designers’ necks. It took several continues, but I finally emerged victorious with another level behind me. Act V made me want to break my machine, and I had to take a break. I paused the game and walked away to grab a drink and watch some Tivo. Yes, it was that frustrating. An episode of Star Trek: TNG later, I resumed my game with a clear mind while chanting a mantra: “It’s just a game. It’s just a game.” Several minutes and continues later, my frustration level was returning to its peak. After dying for the 1,000,000th time, I was furious. I clenched my jaw and, with determination, hit continue again. With the utmost concentration, I began to systematically work my way through the level. I knew the patterns–where to jump, when to slice with the katana, when to throw a ninja star. I got hit a couple times, but was undeterred. Jumping, slicing, bouncing off the walls, dodging trolls, birds, ninjas, robotic blasters, and dudes with machine guns, I flew through the level to finally face off against the boss. After some dialog, I sprang forward with rage and just kept hacking at him with my sword. I ignored his thunderbolt attacks, and kept pursuing my enemy until he lay before me, bleeding and dying on the ground. After the cutscene, I continued to Act VI, got my ass handed to me, and decided to call it a day. The final boss will have to wait until I can obtain adequate mental health insurance.

Shadowgate

< Back in the Day: This was one of the hardest and longest games I ever played. But despite the numerous hours I put into Shadowgate, I still never beat it. One of the few NES games that fit into the puzzle category, Shadowgate’s premise was straightforward enough: You’re a lone hero who must battle the evil Warlock Lord before he summons something out of hell and destroys the world. But the Warlock Lord’s lair is well hidden, so you must venture through Castle Shadowgate and solve a series of puzzles to reveal it. Overall, the game was incredibly difficult and could become quite laborious over time. There were lots of steps involved to solve the puzzles and continue progressing, and there were more ways to die than to live. To make matters worse, you had to keep a lit torch in your inventory at all times. Otherwise, you would lose light, stumble around and fall to your death. With a limited amount of torches in Castle Shadowgate, it imposed a time limit of sorts on an already difficult game. But Shadowgate was still enjoyable in a macabre sort of way. I definitely died a lot, but at least in Shadowgate, you could die in any number of extremely creative ways. In fact, some of the depictions of death were so descriptive, you almost looked forward to it. Let’s see, you could be burned alive by dragon fire, devoured by sharks, sucked into a void, beaten to death by a huge cyclops, dissolved by slime, impaled by a troll’s spear, ripped to shreds by a mutated dog, choked to death by a wyvern’s tail, and so many more, not including suicide and the various castle traps. Ultimately, the game became less about winning and more about discovering new and more gruesome ways to die, which suited us kids just fine.

> Today: I finally beat this game last year. I think all you need to beat it is a sharp mind and a lot of time. So how did I beat it? Simple. An emulator and a walkthrough guide. Yeah, so I cheated. But it was interesting going through the entire game and learning all the secrets to all the puzzles. Some of those puzzles could be quite maniacal. I still died on purpose a few times. It just never gets old.

Tag Team Wrestling

< Back in the Day: OK, this was probably the most stupid-hard game I played–emphasis on stupid. The game wasn’t all that great in 2-player mode; it completely sucked when you were playing against the computer in 1-player mode. This was mainly due to the completely unfair AI. The computer literally cheated. During a match, you could get in a few hits every now and then, but as soon as you maintained any kind of streak, the computer’s wrestler would turn red and become temporarily invincible. There was nothing you could do about it. As soon as the computer transformed into Satan incarnate, all you could do was brace for impact. The computer would repeat this until your strength was drained, then pin you. You just had to get use to the phrase, “Game Over.”

> Today: This was probably the most surprising replay out of the whole list. I loaded up the game and prepared myself for failure, but I prevailed… for a little while at least. I actually won a few matches before I got bored. I developed a strategy: get thrown out of the ring, the computer follows, then proceed to spam-punch the computer until just before the 20 count is up. Your timing has to be perfect because the computer will hop back into the ring quickly if you don’t keep taking him down. I remember trying this strategy to no avail when I was a kid. Maybe I’m faster on the buttons now. Another thing–the computer seems to lose the ability to turn invincible when outside the ring. I tried a variation of this strategy inside the ring, and it worked OK for a while, but I was never able to pin him. The computer tags out too fast if you’re not positioned just right. I was going to keep trying, but I had already defeated the computer a few times, so I had nothing else to prove. I think winning on a technicality is a fair enough strategy against an intermittently invincible opponent.

Castlevania

< Back in the Day: Ah, Castlevania. What a great game. One of Konomi’s best, I’d say. In my experience, this game was the one people played the most on those Player’s Choice 10 cabinets. It was pretty popular on the NES as well. I remember most of my friends owned this cartridge. It was challenging for sure–so much so that I never beat it. But I definitely had fun trying. Like Ninja Gaiden, there are only 6 levels, which doesn’t sound so daunting at first, but the problem is getting through those levels. After the first 2 levels, things can get frustrating fast. Fortunately, you get a limitless supply of continues, but you really had to possess an inhuman amount of coordination to navigate through the Count’s castle. Sometimes I would get stuck at a certain spot that seemed almost insurmountable. Trying to time each jump, each crack of the whip, each boomerang so precisely could get maddening after a while. But finally getting past a spot like that did seem to bring its own sense of accomplishment. You quickly learned why there were only 6 levels. I remember the game having top-notch graphics and sound for the time, but the play control wasn’t the best. Controlling the main character wasn’t as responsive as in other games. In other Konami NES games, such as Contra, you could change directions in mid-air when jumping. Not so in Castlevania. Once you jumped, you were committed. Also, you couldn’t swing your whip diagonally or up and down. They fixed this in the Super Nintendo hit, Castlevania IV. Another vexing aspect of the game was that you had limited sight distance and couldn’t be as proactive at maneuvering at times. This was especially annoying when facing some of the more erratic enemies, like the flying Medusa heads. Still, Castlevania was good fun, even if it did seem hellish at times. Then again, I guess fighting your way through Dracula’s castle against hordes of undead probably shouldn’t be all that easy.

> Today: Still just as fun as it was back then. The graphics, although undeniably dated, are still serviceable. The visual indicators are clear and concise, and each item, enemy, and platform are precisely contoured. The 8-bit music is equally rousing and creepy. I made it past levels 1 and 2 without breaking a sweat. Level 3 gave me a few problems, but I eventually made it. Level 4 was insane, and the Frankenstein monster and Igor are probably the hardest bosses besides Dracula. It took several tries to beat them, but I finally prevailed. After a lengthy, and I mean lengthy, romp through level 5, I finally made it to the Grim Reaper, but I could never beat him. After getting so close to total victory, I may try it again another time. This game still offers a good challenge, although I didn’t have to use as many continues this time around. Consequently, my frustration level remained at a minimum. Castlevania is still one of my all time favorites even after all these years and is well deserving of a replay.

That’s all for now. I’ll be posting Part 3 in a few days. Feel free to leave comments about some stupid-hard games you’ve played and even your experiences with them today.

I’m not sure why lists are so popular on the Internet. Maybe it’s because they’re so easy to read (or write for that matter). Maybe people are brain dead zombies, limited to digesting information broken up into quantifiable, compartmentalized chunks. Maybe people enjoy inherently opinionated rankings of things in a particular category. Whatever the reasons, they’re undeniably popular. Just Google “Top 10″ and see for yourself.

That said, I’d like to introduce you to my latest list: 10 Stupid-Hard NES Games: Then and Now. It’s basically just a list of really hard NES games I played as a kid with descriptions about my experiences then and revisiting them today. But I wanted this list to be different from the usual Internet sludge. So I took the typical “top 10″ paradigm and flipped it on its head a bit. First, this list will be delivered in a three-part series. Today, I’ll be sharing 3 stupid-hard games, then 4 more in Part 2, then I’ll finish up with the final 3 and a conclusion in Part 3. Next, I will be including complementary screenshots to better illustrate the stupid-hardness of the games. Also, this list will be a bit more verbose, which should oppose the notion of instant gratification intrinsic in so many other lists. Finally, this list is in no particular order, so there’s really no “top” to it. Hey, I told you this list would be different. Plus it would just take too much effort to rank these games, and I don’t really feel like it Enough babble. On to the list:

Ghosts ‘N Goblins

< Back in the Day: Of all the games that elicited expletives from me as a kid, this one probably brought out the most. It was easier to catwalk on my BMX bike uphill for a mile while pulling my little brother on his skateboard than beat this game. In this game, you play as a knight, fighting against zombies, ghosts, wizards, and other monsters to finally save your betrothed from the clutches of a big, ugly, winged demon that kind of reminds me of Sardo Numspa at the end of the 1986 movie, The Golden Child. Anyway, if you like abuse, this is the game for you. The mechanics of the game are pretty simple. You run around jumping and throwing weapons at constantly spawning monsters until you or they die. The basic strategy is a combination of killing and running, not that any sort of strategy makes that much of a difference. You start the game throwing lances, which do an ok amount of damage, but are pretty slow. Stay away from the torch or flame weapon like it’s… well, fire. It sucks and has a limited effective range. The dagger is pretty decent; it does as much damage as the lance, and it’s faster. I don’t know anything about the axe, and I never found the shield or cross weapon, but I’ve read that you can use it to block enemy attacks as well as attack. You can only shoot laterally (unlike in Contra, where you can shoot up, down, and diagonally in all directions), so that doesn’t help. Oh, yeah, the monsters must all have acid blood, because if you get hit once, you lose your entire suit of armor and are reduced to your knightly boxers. The next hit turns you into a handsome pile of bones. If you can make it half-way through the level, then you start at the “half-way marker” after you die. Wow, thanks. One more thing: the designers must be masochists or something, because if you pull off a miracle and “beat” this game, you have to do it all over again to get the real ending. I have better things to do with my time… like write more lists.

> Today: I’ll admit, as difficult as it still is, it was kind of fun to go back and play this one. I was determined to get to at least level 2, but it didn’t happen. I got all the way up to the first miniboss and got pulverized. I was actually better at this game when I was a kid. I still had a good time with it, though. With this game, you just have to embrace the inevitability of death. The game that I could only beat with the Game Genie will have to remain unbeaten.

Kid Icarus

< Back in the Day: Kid Icarus was kind of a weird game to me. My first experience was renting it from a mom and pop video rental store. I had heard good things about it, so I got the game home, popped it in, and started it up. It was different from any game I had ever played. The visual style was striking, and it seemed to mesh mechanics from Super Mario Bros, Metroid, and The Legend of Zelda. It had elements of a platformer, a scrolling shooter, and you could collect items throughout your journey. You could even earn experience points and level up. I remember the setting, loosely based on Greek mythology, and sound effects to be a bit eerie for some reason. And some of the monsters freaked me out. I’ve read that there’s a monster in the game called a “Komayto” that resembles a Metroid, which is understandable since Kid Icarus was based on the Metroid game engine. I never made it far enough to see one, however. The game was just too difficult. You had to have incredible platforming skills and a lot of patience, because this game was long. I wouldn’t say it was one of my all time favorites, but it was still a good game and offered a solid diversion, even if it did eventually end in frustration. I guess it’s safe to say I had mixed feelings for the game. It was interesting and entertaining, but ultimately the challenge of finishing it was a little too hardcore for me.

> Today: I recently loaded up this game to see how it’s aged over the years. I still like the style, although the sound effects and monsters still kinda freak me out. My performance has actually worsened, as I couldn’t even get past the first level. So I did what any sensible man would do: I gave up and entered the password to transport me to the final level with weapons and health maxed out. Only then was I able to vanquish the evil Medusa and rescue the Angel Princess. Yeah, yeah, I know I cheated, but I wanted to see the ending. I had only seen it once before when my friend beat it one morning before we went to school. I still don’t know how he pulled it off. Maybe he grabbed the password from a Nintendo Power or something.

Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out

< Back in the Day: Ok, this one deserves an explanation. The only real stupid-hard part of this game was Tyson. I remember being able to work my way up to him, but never defeating him. It was easier to play Doom on “Nightmare” mode than beat Tyson. Despite such an insanely difficult final bout, Mike Tyson’s Punch-Out was still one of my favorite NES games. If you took the title character out of the equation, I would describe the game as having the perfect balance of challenge and fun. The gameplay stood out in the early Nintendo landscape and offered some interesting mechanics. Each opponent had his own unique fighting style and brought to the match his own distinct challenges. If an opponent gave you trouble, you could press select in between a round to regain some of your strength. Everything felt right until you got to Tyson. Even if you knew his patterns, Tyson was still lightning quick and could knock you out with one punch. Come to think of it, I don’t even think I got past the first minute let alone the first round. It kinda makes you wonder what kind of deal Tyson made with Nintendo to use his name and 8-bit likeness to make him virtually invincible.

> Today: Not much has changed with this game. As before, I can battle my way up to Tyson, but I still can’t beat him. However, I was able to last through the whole first round, which is astonishing to me. Maybe my twitch reflexes have improved over the years. Given more time, I may be able to make it further, but it’s just not worth the effort. It’s not impossible to beat him; I know people have done it. But for me, it would be more repetition than a good challenge. So for now, I’ll just stick to knocking out Super Macho Man and call it a day.

Well, that’s all for now. Be sure to stop by in a few days to catch Part 2 of the series. And we’d love to hear about some of your hardest games. You can tell us all about ‘em in the comments.

Today marks the 20th birthday of the Nintendo Game Boy. Technically, it wasn’t released in the US until August of 1989, but since the Game Boy was born in Japan, we’re celebrating on its original release date. To a lot of people, the Game Boy was just a means to get their Tetris fix, which is understandable since Tetris is one of the most addictive puzzle games of all time. But the Game Boy was more than just a Tetris machine; there were some other cool games out there, as well. So in honor of the Game Boy’s birthday, I’ve listed my personal all time top 5 Game Boy games below. If you’d like to join in the celebration, be sure to include some of your favorites in the comments of this post. I would’ve listed more, but I think those were the only ones I played.

1. The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening - Other than Tetris, I think I logged the most time on my Game Boy playing this game. I savored the puzzles and whimsical story throughout the game, and it reminded me a lot of my favorite SNES game, A Link to the Past.

2. Tetris - One of the greatest games of all time. It provided me with hours of fun and my parents hours of quiet. How could this classic not be on my list?

3. Dr. Mario - Another great puzzle game. ‘Nuff said.

4. Metroid II: The Return of Samous - I never finished this game, I guess because I was more preoccupied with other Super Nintendo games, but what I played of it was awesome. This game is currently being remade into a PC version by DoctorM64.

5. Super Mario Land - Similar mechanics to the classic NES game, Super Mario Bros., but with a few extra abilities. Definitely one of the funnest Game Boy games in my opinion.

(Begin gruff, old, asian man voice here) Gather around, young ones, and I will tell you a tale from ancient time. A long time ago in 1984, a man known as Kevin Eastman partnered with Peter Laird to build one of the greatest empires in all the world. They created the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! (End gruff, old, asian man voice) OK dramatics aside, in honor of St. Patrick’s Day last week, we’re going green. It’s the All Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Edition of the podcast. Fueled on pizza and Mountain Dew, we talk about the origins, cartoons, action figures, video games, and movies all about the heroes in a half shell. It’s an epic long show, but we felt we had to give the Turtles their due. After all, they entertained us for a countless number of hours. So sharpen your katanas and get ready to kick shell with the original lean, mean, green machines. It’s turtle time!

Download the mp3 (1:25:10 / 39.0MB)

External links mentioned in this show:
ninjaturtles.com
first episode of the TMNT cartoon on Youtube

Researchers at Yale have officially determined the statistical likelihood of finding the Princess in the NES classic, Super Mario Bros. According to the study, players only have a 12.5% chance of finding her, which means you’ll run into the dreaded mushroom retainers for the other 7 out of 8 times. The proof is on the T-shirt, literally. Chances that I want that T-shirt = 100%.

It’s been a while since the last podcast, but now we’re back in action to bring you the first show of 2009. We’re also bringing a fourth crew member on board. Good to have you with us, Chad. Now stop reading this and get back to work! On the show this week, we explore the theme of “chicks in space” as it relates to the 80s. The 1986 movie, Aliens, is up for discussion first. Ripley’s horrible luck, Bill Paxton’s off-the-wall performance, and old-school special effects are just some of the subjects mentioned. Next up is a retrospective of the 1987 NES classic, Metroid, as we recount the first time we entered the “Justin Bailey” code and beheld Samus Aran in all her feminine glory. We then share the results of last show’s poll question and pose a new one (don’t forget to vote). Lastly, and for no other reason than we just felt like it, we remember that old 30-minute animated commercial for Nintendo that passed for entertainment when we were kids: Captain N the Game Master. Rest in peace, Mr. Stubbs. You were one sassy Mother Brain.

Download the mp3 (1:00:49 / 27.8MB)

External links mentioned in this show:
Download the VGAT (Video Game Aptitude Test)
Download the VGAT Answer Key
Dr. Octoroc
Metroid II Remake

New poll here. Your question: Who’s your favorite female G. I. Joe / Cobra? To cast your vote, hit the link below or view the poll on the sidebar on the right side of the page. You don’t want to miss out on voting in this one, because whoever gets the most votes will be the subject of our next G. I. Joe Hall of Fame.

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Please join me in welcoming the newest member of the Back in the Day Show crew, Chad. He’s been a longtime friend of ours, but has only recently discovered the show through our MySpace page. He began listening to the shows and was instantly hooked. After listening to episode #2, Chad e-mailed us with the answer to the “Name That Game” question of that show. He guessed correctly, but unfortunately, we stopped playing that game a while back due to listener disinterest. So instead of awarding him a T-shirt, we decided to offer him a position on the show, and he actually agreed to join us (sucker!).

Chad’s movie and TV knowledge is impeccable, but since he didn’t own as many video games as a kid, we were a little concerned about his familiarity with the video gaming realm. So we administered a basic video game knowledge test that we have deemed the VGAT (Video Game Aptitude Test). Chad performed admirably, obtaining a solid “B”. Sure, he may not have received a “Super Job!” sticker, but he passed well enough for our purposes, which is a relief because we really didn’t want to fire him and refuse him a T-shirt.

Chad’s debut can be heard on episode #10, which I will be posting up tomorrow. I will also post a copy of the VGAT with an answer key so you, our wonderful listeners, can test your own video gaming knowledge.

Welcome to the show, Chad. We look forward to your input on the podcast and blog. Just don’t screw it up